THE YIZKOR WE NEED THIS PESACH

7th Day Pesach 5784

An article by Rabbi Shlomo Brody published last week in Tablet magazine reviews the historical development of the Yizkor memorial service.  As I read it, I remembered, vaguely, that I had written a term paper on this very subject for a liturgy course in rabbinical school.  My area of academic concentration was Medieval Jewish literature which, despite every reasonable conjecture to the contrary, has proved relevant to my work as a congregational rabbi on more than one occasion.  

I spent my HUC days poring over martyrdom texts written by Ashkenazi Jews between the 11th and 15th centuries.  As a tradition that values human life above nearly all else, Judaism generally frowns on martyrdom, with a few notable exceptions.  

The first arises after the failed Bar Kochba rebellion in the 2nd Century, when a self-styled Messiah (Shimon Bar Koziba, a.k.a. “Bar Kochba,” meaning “son of a star”) leads a doomed rebellion of Jews against the Roman Empire—the second failed revolt against Rome in 60 years—and a group of prominent leaders and teachers of Torah, most famously Rabbi Akiva, is rounded up by the Romans and executed to public spectacle.  These martyrs are recalled in the Yom Kippur afternoon service, in a liturgy known as “Eleh Ezkra,” “These do I remember,” or as it’s called in English, “the Martyrology.”  Judaism praises these martyrs for accepting death rather than desecrating the name of God, or so the reasoning goes.  

The other exception arises starting in 1096, when Ashkenazi Jews (that is, Jews of the Rhineland, straddling modern-day France and Germany) were brutally attacked by Christian Crusaders on their way to “liberate” the Holy Land from Muslim “infidels.”  In response to this trauma, Jewish writers wrote commemorative verses for martyrs who took their own lives rather than submit to the Christian marauders who inflicted physical, sexual, and emotional torment on their victims the likes of which none of us had seen in our lifetimes before October 7th, 2023.  

During this period, numerous piyyutim, or devotional poems, were composed, lauding the martyrs, castigating the assailants, and testifying to the sanctification of God’s name for which these pious Jews had died. (To this day, the traditional term for martyrdom is Kiddush Ha-Shem, which means “sanctification of the Name.”) Similar poems proliferate after Jews are put to death (often by burning at the stake, sometimes whole communities at a time) for alleged crimes like murdering Christian children to use their blood for making matzo (the notorious “blood libel”).  

A paucity of reliable eyewitness testimony or other contemporaneous artifacts suggests that the proportion of Jews who chose martyrdom over forced conversion or worse was actually very small; but in literature, if not in life, their numbers are exaggerated to match their esteem.  

In Germany, a controversial custom arose in the wake of the attacks:  writing down the names of the dead in a Memorbücher, or “Memory Book,” called Sefer Zikaron in Hebrew.  As Brody points out, “The list of names was introduced with the prayerful wish: ‘May God remember [Yizkor Elohim].’ Alongside the martyrs, communal leaders or benefactors were listed. These names would then be read aloud in the community. Reading the book turned into a communal ritual.” 

Several prominent rabbis initially opposed this practice, questioning its theological efficacy (could a prayer really effect divine mercy for the soul of the dead?) and even likening the practice to a kind of idolatry:  worship of the dead.  As often happens to rabbis in congregational life (I told you this stuff was relevant), the traumatized community’s need for a collective memorial practice overrode the rabbis’ theological objections, and became a cherished part of Jewish life, with names of the dead often inscribed on the walls of synagogues and in books of remembrance, and read aloud before Kaddish (all customs practiced at WRT).  

In times of collective grief, new prayers were composed to commemorate the slain. One, called Av Ha-Rachamim (“Father of Mercy”), “beseeches God to remember ‘the pious, upright, and blameless, the holy communities, who laid down their lives for the sanctification of [the] Name.’  It further calls on God to take revenge for their spilled blood” (Ibid) and exact vengeance on their enemies. The prayer gained further traction when, in the middle of the fourteenth century, pogroms broke out against Jewish communities in the wake of the Black Plague.  

When, in the middle of the 17th Century, the Cossack warlord Bogdan Chmielnizki led a massacre of tens of thousands of Polish Jews, another new martyrdom prayer entered the liturgy:  El Malei Rachamim, “The God of Abundant Compassion,” a prayer asking God to shelter the souls of the righteous beneath the wings of the Divine Presence (Shekhinah) and to bind up their souls in the bonds of life everlasting”—words that are recited today at every Jewish funeral, but which began as a response to communal trauma.

Taken together, these prayers and poems and lists of the dead gradually coalesce into the Jewish practice of Yizkor, the memorial service that will eventually be adopted into the liturgy for Yom Kippur and the Shalosh Regalim, the three pilgrimage Festivals of Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot.  So we offer Yizkor prayers four times a year.  (By “we,” I mean Ashkenazi Jews; to this day, Sepharadim do not have a communal Yizkor, because the precipitating catastrophes for this liturgy did not happen in Sephardic lands.)  

And, for the most part, our Yizkor, though a communal experience, is centered around the emotional and spiritual needs of the individual mourner.  You will find in our Siddur a wide array of poems, both traditional and modern, and formulas for saying Yizkor, with the emphasis on personal bereavement.

And yet, today is also the first Yizkor since the last Yizkor, which was recited collectively throughout the Jewish world on October 7th and 8th, 2023—on the Festivals of Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah—the conclusion of Sukkot.  

One of the great ironies of human life is that we experience mourning as the loneliest of ordeals when in fact it is the most universal.  It is a cruel trick of Nature that the human psyche has evolved to respond to the death of a loved one as uniquely shattering.  “No one can know my pain,” we think; “no one understands what this feels like.”  This was not just someone’s husband, wife, parent, child, or friend:  this one was mine, and now, I am utterly alone.  Such is the force of death and such the devastation of loss.  And still, the force of death is a mirror image of the force of life even as grief is reflected love. 

Judaism, in its compassionate wisdom, saw fit to merge the intensely personal experience of grief with the intensely Jewish need to be in community, and vice versa.  Yizkor: what began as collective remembrance in the face of unfathomable communal trauma also became the sacred container for every individual bereavement.  In so doing, Yizkor makes plain its meaning:  you are not alone.

We need Yizkor this year, more than ever.  We need to be together in our grief and heartbreak, for the trauma of October 7th and the trauma of every day since.  By way of giving us some space for memory—alone and together—I will share this poem by the Adi Keissar, an acclaimed Israeli poet whose family arrived as refugees from Yemen beginning in 1882 on her father’s side, and, on her mother’s side, in the wake of the expulsion of Yemen’s Jews in the 1950’s.

I’m not sure

if I could go back to life this time

A morning run, bike trip, party

without the face of the dead

haunting me

I’m not sure

if I could come back alive this time

An empty baby bed, a blanket

coloured red.

What I’m sure of

Automatic weapons, fire and smoke

shattered windows and a broken door

sirens going up and down

ashes and wreckage

The world is burning

and I am the flames

The hours blended

also, the days

At night came the dreams

and the mosquitos

to suck my skin

As from a hidden signal

swirled around me

all night

buzzed in the darkness

asked for my blood.

All through the night

the air stood still

between me and the world

not going in and not coming out

In the morning I opened a window

the sun was shining in the sky

the silence filled the empty streets

I’m not sure

if I could ever hear silence

that doesn’t hide a disaster within.

אוקטובר\ עדי קיסר

אֲנִי לֹא בְּטוּחָהּ

שֶׁאַצְלִיחַ הַפַּעַם לַחְזֹר לַחַיִּים

רִיצַת בֹּקֶר, טִיּוּל אוֹפַנַּיִם, מְסִבָּה

מִבְּלִי שֶׁיָּבוֹאוּ אֵלַי פְּנֵי הַמֵּתִים

אֲנִי לֹא בְּטוּחָה

שֶׁאַצְלִיחַ הַפַּעַם לַחְזֹר בַּחַיִּים

מִטַּת תִּינוֹק רֵיקָה, שְׂמִיכָה,

בְּצֶבַע אָדֹם.

בְּמָה אֲנִי בְּטוּחָה:

בַּיְּרִיּוֹת עַל אוֹטוֹמָט, בְּאֵשׁ וּבֶעָשָׁן

בְּחַלּוֹנוֹת מְנֻפָּצִים וּבְדֶלֶת שְׁבוּרָה

בְּאַזְעָקוֹת עוֹלוֹת וְיוֹרְדוֹת

בְּאֵפֶר וּבַהֲרִיסוֹת

הָעוֹלָם בּוֹעֵר

וַאֲנִי הַלֶּהָבוֹת.

הַשָּׁעוֹת נִדְבְּקוּ זוֹ בָּזוּ

גַּם הַיָּמִים

וּבַלַּיְלָה הִגִּיעוּ הַחֲלוֹמוֹת

וְהַיַּתּוּשִׁים

לִמְצֹץ אֶת עוֹרִי

כְּמוֹ מִתּוֹךְ אוֹת סָמוּי

כָּל הַלַּיְלָה

זִמְזְמוּ בַּחֹשֶׁךְ

בִּקְּשׁוּ אֶת דָּמִי.

כָּל הַלַּיְלָה עָמַד הָאֲוִיר

תָּלוּי בֵּינִי וּבֵין הָעוֹלָם

לֹא נִכְנַס וְלֹא יוֹצֵא.

בַּבֹּקֶר פָּתַחְתִּי חַלּוֹן

הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ זָרְחָה בַּשָּׁמַיִם

הַשֶּׁקֶט עָמַד בָּרְחוֹבוֹת הָרֵיקִים

אֲנִי לֹא בְּטוּחָה

שֶׁאַצְלִיחַ פַּעַם לִשְׁמֹעַ שֶׁקֶט

שֶׁלֹּא מַחְבִּיא בְּתוֹכוֹ אָסוֹן.

Shemini 5784: Reflections on 20+ Years at WRT

I’m speechless!

…Not literally, of course.  I have a speech….

(Never trust a rabbi who claims to be speechless.)

You have blessed me tonight so generously, so now it’s my turn to bless you.

The model for blessing the congregation appears in this week’s portion, Shemini:

“Aaron lifted his hands toward the people and blessed them.”  He offered the requisite sacrifices, “and then Moses and Aaron went inside the Tent of Meeting.  When they came out, they blessed the people; and the Divine Presence appeared to all the people” (Leviticus 9:22-23).

The Rabbis, always attuned to the nuances of the text, observed a few peculiarities in the space of these two verses:  the repetition of the blessing; the fact that Aaron blesses alone at the outset and then is joined by Moses; the brief and unexplained interlude when Moses and Aaron walk into the Tent; their immediate re-emergence to bless the people a second time.

I have thought a lot about this passage in the days and weeks leading up to this celebration.  

Specifically, three thoughts come to mind, each evident from this passage, and each increasingly evident over my years at WRT. 

  • First, that it is not good to go it alone.      
  • Second, that something important happens inside the Tent of Meeting.
  • Third, that we’re supposed to be doing here is taking the blessing out of the Tent and into the world.

People often ask me, “Do you ever get nervous up there on the bimah?”

And I say, “No, not really.” 

And that’s because I never have to do this alone.  

I get to do this with the best people in the world.  From the minute I arrived at WRT I have gotten to do this alongside the greatest cantors and rabbis, with world-class musicians and teachers of Torah, and each of us has each other’s back.  From the original “Dream Team” of Rick Jacobs, Angela Buchdahl, and Stephen Merkel of blessed memory, to the Dream Team of 2024, I have always felt so lucky to lead with a team.

The Torah comments twice on the subject of “going it alone,” and both times it uses the phrase “Lo Tov,” “not good.”  First, in the Garden of Eden, of the first human being, Adam, about whom it is written, Lo Tov heyot adam l’vado, “It is not good for a person to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).  And so the human is given a partner, an equal, a complement: Chava, meaning life.

Later the Torah presents us with a young Moses, a Moses still finding his way in the wilderness, leading a community out of bondage, when his father-in-law Jethro observes him managing all matters for the congregation, big and small, and warns that if he keeps it up, Moses is going to burn out fast.  Jethro says:  “Lo Tov ha-davar asher ata oseh, The thing you are doing is not good.  Get yourself some help” (Exodus 18:17-23). 

It is not good to go it alone.

Which makes me wonder about Aaron, at the top of the verse, standing up there in front of the people, all alone, administering the rituals—alone; blessing the people—alone; and I like to think that this lonely Aaron suddenly remembered that it is not good to go it alone, which explains what happens next:  he and Moses walk into the Tent of Meeting together, and then re-emerge together in front of the people.

I am blessed that I have never had to go it alone at WRT.  Clergy, professional, and lay partners have provided boundless support, insight, wisdom, leadership, caring: sometimes taking the melody line and sometimes the harmony, all contributing to the symphony of WRT.  

My heart swells with gratitude for all who have shared the mantle of leadership—and especially to my clergy partner, Amanda Kleinman, whose cantorate encompasses the totality of congregational service, from strategic planning to the cultivation of the next generation of leaders, from preaching and teaching to carrying our people in times of celebration and sorrow, and whose friendship, and patience (especially with me!) have sustained my spirit on hard days, and who exemplifies the perfect mix of taking the work seriously without taking ourselves too seriously.  

And who, by the way, planned this whole shebango—not single-handedly, of course, but whose vision, teamwork, and attention to detail are finely engraved in this beautiful Shabbat.  Amanda, it is a pleasure and an honor to lead with you, and to learn leadership with you and from you.

Amy Rossberg, who oversees congregant relations and pastoral care, holds our community with love and deep Jewish spirituality.  Hers is often the first voice offering mazal tov or sympathy.  I really don’t know where I’d be without her—probably lost on my way to a cemetery in Queens.  I am so grateful. 

Without Eli Kornreich at the helm of all of our operations—logistical, financial, and physical—the house of WRT could not stand.  And without our volunteer leaders, the house of WRT would be hollow.  Warren Haber, you exemplify dedication not only to WRT but to the Jewish people and the Jewish tradition, inspiring our entire community.  With you as Temple President, we should all feel blessed to know that we never have to go it alone.

I come from a family that centered joyful, Jewish living in our home and our hearts.  I have been blessed to be part of a family that includes my parents, my sister, and her family, including her husband Jonas and his family, my nephew Samson (who chanted Torah like a boss tonight!) and twin niece and nephew Shirah and Jakey, and their father Dean, and many others who are with me tonight, either in the sanctuary, or online, or in spirit, or in memory.   

Friends of the highest human caliber have given so much happiness and meaning to my life.  What a thrill to have some of my closest childhood friends here, and four of my five college roommates who have been making one another laugh until it hurts for almost 33 years, usually at James’s expense (he’s the roommate who correctly surmised that a ski trip would be better than a Shabbat service).  You all mean the world to me.  And I have been blessed by the immense caring and wisdom of my chavruta, my rabbinic study-partner, teacher, and friend Rabbi Jan Katzew.

At the heart of it all is Kelly, whose dedication to WRT deserves a celebration all her own.  Kelly has shared the leadership of this congregation in ways both overt—co-chairing WRT’s efforts to resettle refugees from Africa, preparing yontif meals for staff, lending her glorious voice to concerts and special services, co-leading congregational trips to Israel, basically, just being the “very model of the modern major rebbetzin”—and, covert: as teammate, truth-teller, logician, strategic adviser, sermon-editor, spiritual guide, cat mom, and above all, best friend.  You have sacrificed long days and sleepless nights for this congregation with the same integrity, love, and devotion that you give to the performing arts, including your present work in the national tour of Girl from the North Country, the extraordinary musical featuring the music of Bob Dylan that experienced a critically acclaimed Broadway run before it was cut short by Covid.  You can visit northcountrytour.com to follow her ongoing journey, resuming in Dallas next week.  

(And yes, the irony of Kelly singing 20 Dylan songs every day, eight shows a week, is not lost on us, given the fact that, of the handful of things about which we do not agree, the appeal of Bob Dylan’s voice is foremost among them.)

Kelly, thank you for being the first half of “Team McBlake”; thank you for all you give to this community; thank you for loving me, of all people; I love you.

So Aaron walks into the Tent of Meeting, not alone this time, but with his partner by his side, and then they re-emerge.  The text doesn’t tell us what happened inside that Tent but clearly, something has changed, because as soon as they step outside, they bless the community, and, for the first time in the Book of Leviticus, the Divine Presence makes itself known to all the people.

This, I think, is the magic of the synagogue.  You go in one way and you come out different.  Something transformative happens inside this Tent, something marvelous.  

You go in thinking, “my children will get a Jewish education,” or “my kids will get a Bar or Bat Mitzvah,” or, “I need someone to conduct my loved one’s funeral,” and what you discover is that inside the Tent, the world makes a little more sense.  The ancient Sages conveyed wisdom that still matters in our lives.  There is more to life than I realized.  There exists a place where I am less lonely.  My simchas and my sorrows have a place where I can hold them, honor them, and re-enter the community, transformed.  A place exists where—I can’t exactly put my finger on it, and I may not use this language for it, but for lack of a better way of putting it, inside the Tent, I felt as if I were in the presence of God.  Did my beliefs change?  Maybe; maybe not.  But I definitely changed.  My sense of priorities, my sense of purpose–they changed.  My life changed.

Besides. The point of Judaism never was to inculcate belief in God, anyway.  The point of Judaism is to make God’s presence known in the world, which is why Moses and Aaron have to come out of the Tent in order to bring the blessing and the Divine Presence to the world. 

The point of Judaism is to live in such a way that gives hope and testimony to the possibility that in a world of dross, beauty is possible. That in a world of hurt, love is possible. That in a world of randomness and disorder, reason and order are possible. 

So as I mark this milestone, I celebrate the way in which we, right here at WRT, have brought the blessing out from the Tent and into the world.  

I rejoice when I hear that other congregations are singing a melody that was first sung here.  

I rejoice when other congregations follow our lead and transform their environmental impact through the Zero Waste initiative that we developed, in this Tent.  

I rejoice when WRT’s engagement strategies, adult education initiatives, and creative holiday observances are emulated across the Reform Movement. 

I rejoice when we travel to Israel and are greeted not as tourists but as “B’nei Bayit” — members of one’s home and family.  

I rejoice when a guest at Shabbat or the Holidays comes up to the bimah afterwards and says, “I’ve never been to a prayer experience like this before.”

I rejoice when I see people walk out of the sanctuary and remember that the parking lot is holy ground, too, and remember that they learned derekh eretz, common courtesy, dignified decency, menschlichkeit, here in the Tent.

I rejoice when the Tikkun Olam values we teach in the Tent–the dignity of every human being, the need to cultivate multi-faith allies and friendships in a world that has no trouble generating enemies of the Jewish People, the centrality of Israel to us–are all made real in our work outside the Tent.

I rejoice when our congregants embrace, outside this Tent, the notion that standing up for Israel is not at odds with supporting the dignity of Palestinian people; that Jewish strength is not to be achieved through isolationism or extremism.

I rejoice when I learn, as I did just this week, that a young woman who grew up here at WRT was accepted to HUC and will be entering rabbinical school in Jerusalem this summer; that the leaders who began their journeys here at WRT are now serving as great leaders of Jewish people across the country and across the world.    

So this is my blessing to you, WRT:  

Please continue to bless one another as you have blessed me.  Please show one another the kindness, understanding, compassion and forgiveness that you have shown me.  And please be as good and generous to this synagogue as you have been to me.     

Please don’t leave the magic inside the Tent.  

The world needs you to bring the blessing out from here, to reveal the Divine Presence to all of God’s children.

Shabat Shalom